In Chinese marriage and relationship discussions, exorbitant bride prices are always the most contentious and emotionally damaging issue. Some see it as a matter of etiquette, others as a transaction; some rely on it to secure their daughters' future, while others are ruined by it.

For: Bride Price is a Guarantee, Not a Sale

Those who support bride prices mostly believe that it is a traditional custom, representing the groom's respect and sincerity towards the bride's family. The daughter grows up in her original family, incurring years of upbringing costs; the bride price is a token of goodwill and compensation. Many families, after receiving the bride price, will double it and return it as dowry, ultimately serving as start-up capital for the young couple. In some regions, the bride price is the bride's bottom line for security in her new family, preventing her from being neglected after marriage. They feel that as long as the amount is reasonable and both parties are willing, it shouldn't be categorically opposed.

Oppose: Exorbitant Bride Prices are a Shackle on Marriage and Relationships

Opposition to exorbitant bride prices is even more intense. Bride prices often reaching tens or hundreds of thousands of yuan turn marriage into a transaction with a clearly marked price. Many rural families borrow money, take out loans, and empty their savings to pay for a bride, falling into poverty because of the marriage. Being held hostage by comparison, face-saving, and customs is not love, but a burden. Some people treat their daughters as "tools for making money," completely ignoring feelings and happiness. They believe that exorbitant bride prices are inherently a bad custom that must be rectified. The reality is awkward: prohibiting it is difficult, and allowing it is equally difficult. Many places have now introduced policies stipulating that bride prices should not exceed 30,000 or 60,000 yuan, advocating for zero bride prices.

However, implementation is contradictory: strict enforcement is criticized as "interfering with folk customs"; inaction leads to constant news reports of breakups, suicides, and fraud due to bride price issues.

The real issue is never "whether to give," but whether the amount is reasonable, whether it is voluntary, and whether it is being held hostage by comparison.

Bridal gifts should symbolize goodwill, not a contest of wealth. Good marriages are never built on money, but on mutual understanding and shared progress between two people and two families. When bride prices crush love and drag down families, even the most "traditional" custom has long been distorted.